It has recently come to my attention that my voicemail inbox is full; so after deciding to clean it out I had some fun listening to some of my old and saved messages:

1 Cary: “Your mom said I could take you to the dance tonight. But I have a Poptart!”

2 Bill: “Uh ello Casey, this is Beezer’s Spanish water polo teammate; and I just wanted to say I met this girl and she was uh, how to do you say, a track?”

3 Cary: “Uh Casey yeah this is Les, you were supposed to close tonight, but uh we’re just wondering where you are; but uh if you could just give us a call back when you get this, aright.”

4 Bobby: “So I just got this message you left me on Pom-Pom’s cell phone telling me to go pick up sticks…having to put up with you is having to put up with garbage.”

5 Chae: “Hey guess what, I was at work today and I watched this lady put Fixodent on her dentures, like she was buttering toast!”

6 Freshman Steve: “Hi Casey, its Freshman Steve.”
Cary: “That’s Freshman Steve saying, “Hi Casey”. Just wondering if you’re coming over this weekend, cause its College Park and College Park is awesome; AHHH!”

7 Paul: “What’s up Kill, it’s Paul. Haven’t talked to you in a while… You still have to play Scrabble, no excuse!”

8 (heavy breathing)

9 Dad: “Hi Sweetie, it’s Dad. Just uh on my way home from work, just calling to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I love you and miss you. Bye.”

10 Dad: “Hi Casey, that Janice is a good secretary; she’s been with you for a long time. I like her voice. Uh just calling to say hi, Sweetie. Mommy read the text message to me the other day that you were uh being a little baby missing your girls from camp. That’s sweet, that sound like you really kind of bonded with them and uh really got close to them that’s wonderful you’re making such wonderful memories, Casey, and meeting people; I’m just uh real excited for you and uh a little sad cause I don’t get to see you, but uh I love you and if you get a chance uh you can give me a call. Bye, Sweetie… Bye.

11 Amy: “Hello Casey Incorporated, this is Amy Limited; I’m um calling because breakfast is not only a lovely wonderful breakfast, but also a debrief so we have to be here. Um if you could wake everyone up, that would be awesome.”

12 Alex (robot voice): “Hello. Casey. This. Is. Alex. Barone. I’m. Just. Calling. To. Say. I. Love. You. And. I’ll. Talk. To. You. Later. Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye… Okay bye… Bye.”

13 Unknown Female: “Hi Casey, I love you! It’s--- I love you, call me back tonight! I love you, happy New Year! I love you! Bye!”

14 Cary: “First off, I would like to let you know that it takes 56 seconds before you can leave a voicemail on your phone; second of all, I… I saw this on TV and I don’t know if you’ll be able to hear it, but I thought I should play it for you because it would make you happy… ‘Goodnight everybody!’, I don’t know if you could hear that; but if you did, you are laughing right now. Okay, I guess I’ll talk to you later, bye.”

15 Andrew: “Yo yo yo, this is Andrew; East Side Baltimore County! Yo, I’m a rapster doin’ what I can. Goin’ to eat everything ‘til the appearance of man. Yo yo, Baby livin’ below the soil; I’ll be back, but I’m comin’ as oil. Yeah…”