życie jest piękne

2011-02-13T18:52:00.001-08:00

"...the sexual orientation of my parents has had zero impact on the content of my character."

2011-02-03T21:25:00.001-08:00

2011-01-18T09:15:00.001-08:00

I have this problem, you see
It seems those around me don’t know what I’m thinking
Don’t know what I’m feeling
About them
For them
Don’t know my fears
They don’t know, most of all
My happiness, from time shared
Or hugs traded
From jokes made
And comments said
I need to be reintroduced to words
Not written words
I need you to hear

2011-01-05T20:51:00.001-08:00

2011-01-04T10:59:00.001-08:00

Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less.

2010-12-21T01:24:00.001-08:00

How radiant our universe
How narrow our view
To think we’re significant
A laughable untrue

Direct your eyes upward, outward; explore
Vast arrays of complexities our world has in store
Amidst our missteps, mischiefs, and misfires
A wealth of surprises we’ve yet to acquire

RAINN : Rape, Abuse, & Incest, National Network…

2010-12-20T21:38:00.001-08:00

1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be a victim of sexual assault in their lifetime.
College age women are 4 times more likely to be sexually assaulted.
Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. (This figure does not include victims 12 years old or younger.)
60% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.
Approximately 73% of rape victims know their assailants.
Only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

http://www.rainn.org/get-involved

2010-12-18T19:37:00.001-08:00

Do you ever find it hard to show someone you care?

Because maybe you do
But somewhere along the line
A few too many times
It’s felt like they maybe don’t care about you?

I enjoy this.

2010-12-18T12:13:00.001-08:00

2010-12-16T11:30:00.001-08:00

Slowly, carefully a school bus
Half yellow
Half white
Drops off
Chubby
Rosy-cheeked
Runny-nosed
Hats, coats, mittens, scarves, boots
Run, slip, tumble, fall inside

As humanity vanishes, nature emerges
As society dulls, nature sings on
Birds speak, fly
Wings slice the falling snow
Turn your ear and close your eyes
It whispers

Crackle
Snow beneath tires
Scrape
Cement below shovels

Snow still falls, but I suppose there are to-do’s still to be done
We reemerge
Snow’s whisper becomes lost

This is real.

2010-12-14T14:43:00.001-08:00

2010-12-12T16:40:00.001-08:00

2010-12-05T13:05:00.001-08:00

2010-12-02T21:23:00.001-08:00

I don’t know how I feel about what I’m about to say,
but this may be one of the sweetest things I’ve ever made

And you’re right, my glasses are awesome, aren’t they?

**And yes, they do look familiar

2010-12-02T15:53:00.001-08:00

Okay, so I realized something today…
And it wasn’t one of those “Eureka!” light bulb moments
It was more like the heating of a toaster
”Hmm, yeah that makes sense… Wait… Yeah.”

You want to know what I realized?

You don’t think the same way I think
or the same way he thinks
or she thinks
or your neighbor’s dog thinks

Shocking, I know.

Maybe that’s common knowledge,
but I don’t use that knowledge as often as I’d like

When I think, I really think
Every little detail of my world is analyzed
Should I have put that period after “Shocking, I know”?
No… Yes… No… Yes, because it adds to my tone
What?
I’m sure I’ll read over this ten times before I hit ‘publish’
And once it’s final, it’s not final
I’ll change it five more times

Have I ever sent you a text?
That’s probably been edited a couple times too

…Back to my point
Just because every detail of my world has been thought out
And is there for a specific reason
Doesn’t mean your world is the same

So
When you mention that and not this
Reply later and not sooner
Say this and not that
I shouldn’t
Worry
Assume
Deduce
Analyze
Calculate or
Pace
Because maybe you just meant exactly what you said

2010-12-01T05:23:00.001-08:00

How do you write about these days without sounding sad?
Without sounding whiny?

I don’t know how long it’s been raining
Early AM, soaked people walk to work
Their faces hidden beneath the shadow of an umbrella
And those running without umbrellas cover their faces anyway
Men in bright raincoats work on power lines

Wind whips through the cracks and cracks trees
It’s so loud, so powerful; the cabinets in my room squeak and sway
Some cars whip around corners and skid
A steady stream of sirens echoes off every wall

I love these days; they’re so beautiful, emotional,
I don’t want to spend them alone
That’s why I whine
It seems every life outside my window is connected
Like they all see the relationship with those they pass

I open the window to not feel so left out

Can you smell the rain too?

2010-11-30T16:01:00.001-08:00

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

- e. e. cummings

2010-11-28T17:40:00.001-08:00

“…I wouldn’t have called it love,
but everyone that steps into a life
is weighed and tested to play a part.”

2010-11-28T17:28:00.001-08:00

“Many times I’ve gazed along the open road”

2010-11-28T11:03:00.001-08:00

Santa showed up in Hunt Valley the other day
Cary and I were going down the escalator while he was going up;
followed by a swarm of children, followed by a swarm of parents

He pointed to Cary and I and said something like, “just a few more weeks!”
We both just stood there kind of shocked as we passed each other
and I did an awkward little wave that must have given away my confusion

For some reason I thought he was trying to tell me I was pregnant,
but after mulling it over we decided that he meant Cary’s beard would be
Santa quality in a few weeks

The worst part of this story and main reason I’m writing this is because
I had my camera around my neck at the time…
and I’ve been kicking myself for slow camera reflexes since

2010-11-27T15:48:00.001-08:00

IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

- Emily Dickinson, Not In Vain

2010-11-24T20:13:00.001-08:00

This was my day; minus the dress-ups, minus the tea, plus some coffee.
I guess not much has changed in 16 years.

Which is perfectly fine with me.

2010-11-23T21:46:00.001-08:00

I bought me a tuner for my uke and guitar tonight (for super cheap, thanks eBay). I have a tuner already, but it’s pretty lame and I’m pretty lame at tuning by ear. I’m still waiting on my payment to clear from selling a turntable. It’s like eBay is my job right now. I applied for a job at a hospital to be a patient transporter. The lady that cuts my dad’s hair told him about it. Her daughter is a transporter and she said she’d talk to her boss for me, cause God knows it’s more about who you know. Entry level hospital jobs are always like, “must have prior experience”; how am I supposed to have prior experience!? Well, you want to know the main reason I want this job, besides the main reasons people want jobs? I want to buy a kiln. A pottery wheel should be easy enough to make with Dad, but I can’t make my own kiln – No thanks to you, city burn laws. So, I’m crossing my fingers on the hospital (or as Faith would say, “I’m putting it out to the universe”); but until then I’ve been working on the shed and rental house with Dad. Saturday I painted and the week before that we ran electric into the shed and the week before that I painted the first coat and the week before that…
Mr. Bob across the alley wants me to paint something on his porch this weekend. Mr. Bob always pays well, so YES!
Well, I think I’ve rambled enough for the night. If we don’t speak until then, have a wonderful Thanksgiving (okay, now this talk of Thanksgiving is making me want to write more– maybe we will talk soon). I’ll just leave you with this remix I found on a lomo site…

2010-11-22T07:12:00.001-08:00

Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")

This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I'd gotten the time of the train wrong.

I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.

I want you to picture the scene. It's very important that you get this very clear in your mind.

Here's the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There's a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.

It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.

Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.

You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know. . . But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn't do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?

In the end I thought, nothing for it, I'll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.

Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice . . ." I mean, it doesn't really work.

We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.

Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.

The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.

(Excerpted from "The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time" by Douglas Adams)

2010-11-21T15:12:00.001-08:00

I get to hang out with a lil punkin tomorrow! My cousin’s wife is coming over to help my grandmother and I get to babysit bubeleh…

Unsuccessful photo, but I love her smile :)

2010-11-21T12:48:00.001-08:00

I wanted to know if your pour your cereal first or your milk, if you wet your toothbrush or if you put the toothpaste on first. Do you floss first or brush? It’s the little things, ya know?

2010-11-19T21:38:00.001-08:00

I love that so many radio songs make physical demands of us as listeners… like, “throw your hands up”, or, “pat your weave”. It just makes it so much easier to be able to tell that, yes, that taxi driver in front of you is listening to the same Beyonce song!

2010-11-19T07:40:00.001-08:00

Hey there Friend,

Last night I went on a date with Science!! My Astronomy class got extra credit to visit the Science Center (win!). There was a planetarium show and I got to play with a gyroscope (those things that make Segways work, don’t ask me anything more). I also finished off my role of film on a giant head, hypnotizing spirals, dinosaurs, a floating globe, twisters, and a lady made of fruits and vegetables- So now I have the difficult task of finding someone that develops 120 film.

Tonight I’m going to Melican’s opera and Sunday I’m helping Jessie and Trey-Man move back to MD. Hooray! Good weekend save, considering what was originally planned.

“High-fiving a thousand angels” - Thank you Liz Lemon

2010-11-17T16:21:00.001-08:00

I pretended it was my birthday and bought myself a present.
You know how, normally, when ~~people~~ girls(?) are upset they buy clothes?
Well, I had the urge- but why clothes?
Are clothes really going to make me feel better?
Yeah, they’ll cheer me up when I first get them- but I needed something to keep me busy.
I needed a new friend.
Hooray!

2010-11-17T16:18:00.001-08:00

Cousin Justin C.’s baby, Justin D.
He wouldn’t stop farting on me.
I’m madly in love.

2010-11-17T16:15:00.001-08:00

I don’t think I really have to explain this one…

Halloween + Two-Face + Spock + Cousin = Good

2010-11-17T16:10:00.001-08:00

A couple weeks ago I volunteered with the Maryland Special Olympics for the Baltimore Running Festival. This was my view by the end of the day. Early that morning I helped with runner bag checks, but later someone came by asking if any of us would help with data entry. That sounded horrible, but I was down for anything to help. It turned out to be an awesome job. There were six of us, each at our own laptop, under a tent for runner results. The data entry part? Typing in a couple numbers off each runner’s bib. Then we printed them out this little sticker that had their times on it. Everyone was so happy to see their results it was like I had personally changed their scores for them. One after another, a never-ending line of friendly, hilarious[, sweaty] runners. By the end of the day I felt like I had made hundreds of friends. Special Olympics, you rock, I hope you raised tons of money!

2010-11-17T15:58:00.001-08:00

BritBrizzle visited a couple weeks ago
We adventured to the King and Queen seat…

2010-11-17T15:44:00.001-08:00

I found Dad’s camera from the ‘60s
So I made Cary adventure with me…

2010-11-17T15:35:00.001-08:00

I have a wonderful friend.

2010-11-17T15:34:00.001-08:00

Looking up always fascinates me.

(try it)

2010-10-01T12:05:00.001-07:00

Want.

2010-10-01T10:29:00.001-07:00

I’m feeling sad this morning. I went online to see the grade I received on my Astronomy exam and realized I had an unread message from our instructor.

His cancer is back and he won’t be able to teach for a while. He said he hopes he will have the opportunity to come back by the end of the year. He also said, “Do well and make me proud”. That part made me cry.

I’m going to miss his excitement for astronomy. I’m going to miss his tangents to questions like, “Do you believe in aliens?”. Get better Mr. H!

The Horsehead Nebula, in the constellation Orion
Approximately 1500 light years from Earth

2010-10-01T09:51:00.001-07:00

Brit Brazzle sent me these photos of her cabin.
I miss being cabin buddies.
I miss running around Narnia with our little campers.
I miss Honesty Caring Respect and Responsibility.
Yep, Brit, I admit it. I’m super jealous.

“Look at yourself, you’re BEAUTIFUL.”

(Sherman Lake YMCA in Augusta, MI)

2010-10-01T09:46:00.001-07:00

School was not happening yesterday. I saw the intersection full of water and abandoned cars and wasn’t trying to get to class that badly. I thought maybe I’d drive around and take the long way… No. I was trapped on Philadelphia Rd. Apparently there were rescue boats helping people out of their cars. I may or may not have cried thinking of floods.

Also… Liked this shot.

2010-10-01T09:44:00.003-07:00

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

— Maya Angelou

Oh hey there, Fiance...

2010-10-01T09:44:00.001-07:00

Yes, you’re getting married. I know.
I noticed the ring slip in your photos.
Oh, you know the “ring slip”.
The we’re just so in love hand placement?
Yeah, I caught you.

2010-10-01T09:42:00.001-07:00

Hey NOLA, I really love your architecture.

2010-10-01T09:40:00.001-07:00

Good morning, 2:30am. I’d like to sleep, but you’ve got me all wound up. Thinking and worrying of things not meant for lights out. The things you can’t ponder logically in the dark. I will not let you shake my confidence.

2010-10-01T09:39:00.001-07:00

2010-10-01T09:38:00.001-07:00

“Kocham Cię bardzo mocno.”

2010-10-01T09:37:00.001-07:00

What I want most, is to see the Milky Way with my own eyes. Beyond this city skyline is a view I don’t want to imagine. I want to ask, “How is this real?”, in real life; beyond my Google Image.

2010-10-01T09:36:00.001-07:00

Who got back their Women's Studies exam with a perfect score, rocked their Psych exam, and double rocked their Astronomy exam? THIS GIRL...

And who was singing this all day to get psyched up for said Psych and Astro exams?
THIS GIRL likes to rock the party.

2010-10-01T09:35:00.001-07:00

Happiness

If I were to somehow describe “happiness”, the only definition I’d be satisfied with would be
Blue Hair, by Matisse.

2010-10-01T09:34:00.001-07:00

Don’t get your tattoos from the Rob Dyrdek look-a-like in Essex. Bill and I saw him cleaning his tattoo machines in the Pizza Hut parking lot. So awesome.

2010-10-01T09:33:00.001-07:00

Community, 'Anthropology Rap'
Thank you, NBC.

2010-10-01T09:31:00.001-07:00

“My biggest regret is selling my stock in Apple and buying apples. I thought it was hilarious at the time, but everyone has an iPod now.”

...Hello, new season of 'Community'!
http://twitter.com/oldwhitemansays

2010-10-01T09:29:00.001-07:00

Eunice Kennedy Shriver;
1987 Special Olympic Games

September 25th was the first annual global
Eunice Kennedy Shriver Day.

"...to say that the lot of people with intellectual disabilities has improved because of Special Olympics is so grossly understated as to be meaningless. Shriver's movement did nothing less than release an entire population from a prison of ignorance and misunderstanding."
-Jack McCallum; Sports Illustrated Magazine, December 8, 2008

http://www.eunicekennedyshriver.org/

2010-10-01T09:27:00.001-07:00

BP protest in Chicago, Faith and I went to. I couldn’t find the wedding shot with us, actually this is the only one I could find. Disappointing, but still happy to find it!

Yes! Yes! Check out what I made.

2010-10-01T09:24:00.001-07:00

I cheated screen printing; in yo face!

Dear Chocolate Peanut Butter Crunch Cake…

2010-10-01T09:22:00.001-07:00

I’ll be dreaming of you.
Let’s be friends.

2010-09-23T17:19:00.001-07:00

I think I cut my bangs about ten times in the span of a day.
I was sick and got bored, okay?
Mom said I look European.
Dad hasn’t seen them yet; he’ll hate them.

Yes, I chopped these photos up a bit
    because I don’t want you to see my messy room in full effect.
Maybe you’re the same way, but when I’m sick I get into everything
        And then I don’t have enough energy to put it all back.

I dressed up for a speech that I rocked today!
   And don’t hate on me for taking photos in the mirror
        Yeah, I know this isn’t MySpace
    …I had just come home from school
        …And was sending a photo to an Oakie
            *sigh* I don’t know why I feel I have to explain myself to you.

I was going for the 'Bettie Page look',
    But with my short hair, I think I got the Amelie look.


I don’t enjoy this growing my hair out phase.
   Please hurry up!

2010-09-18T16:51:00.001-07:00

Sojourner Truth (1797-1883): Ain't I A Woman?
Delivered 1851
Women's Convention, Akron, Ohio

Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.

2010-09-16T16:21:00.001-07:00

Uhh… Thank you, Glenn.
How do I even begin to argue with something so illogical?

2010-09-13T09:47:00.001-07:00

During my time spent in New Orleans, rebuilding houses with AmeriCorps NCCC, I had the opportunity to visit the Lower Ninth every week, educating our volunteers about the floods of Katrina. The Lower Ninth Ward was the hardest hit by the floods; more than 4,000 homes were destroyed and the majority of the 1,800 deaths were of those living in the Lower Ninth.

Two years after the storm, Brad Pitt visited the neighborhood, which was still an open field of various concrete slabs where the waters had knocked homes off their foundations. He promised to “make it right” and created the organization Make it Right, to provide affordable housing for many survivors of the area.

Visiting the Lower Ninth was the best part of the week, not only for the tour we were able to give and not only for the po’boys and crawfish the volunteers usually bought us, but because of the uniqueness to the Make it Right homes.

The homes were designed by architects around the world and were created to be energy efficient and storm resistant. The roofs are made of metal which absorbs less heat than our shingled roofs and are far more durable. The roofs are also equipped with rainwater harvesting systems so that each home can hold 600 gallons of rainwater to reuse as they wish, which may include washing cars or watering lawns. These systems also reduce runoff, seeing that the majority of New Orleans is below sea level and swampy enough. Solar panels have been installed in the homes and every roof has its own escape hatch, as many people were trapped in their attics while the storm surge rose higher in their houses.

Many of the homes were constructed with an ivy filled lattice on the outside walls, to create a shadow, thus lowering the amount of heat absorbed by the house even more. Every home has been built above the Katrina flood lines and there is talk of many houses having anchors, so if they were ever again picked up by a flood they would not be washed away. New framing techniques have also been added to the homes and they can now withstand winds of up to 130mph. They are all made to be mold and termite resistant and the concrete used in the foundations and sidewalks are pervious, which basically means they soak up water instead of it collecting elsewhere.

Another brownie point goes to Make it Right for hiring local contractors and workers who may have otherwise been out of a job.

Currently, 14 families are home and 19 more houses are under construction.

To learn more about the Lower Ninth and Make it Right, visit makeitrightnola.org

2010-09-11T17:50:00.001-07:00

Thank you, Oak 5
For accepting my secret love of country music

I can picture us;
Rolling around Cedar Rapids
In the dead of winter
In that ridiculous van
In our nasty coveralls
Lines of dirt on our faces
From the edges of our masks
Singing along with our inner cowboys and gals

Josh Turner - Would You Go With Me
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Explore more music videos.

2010-09-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

One month, today.

This doesn’t feel “normal” yet.

In my normal, I can look back in the rear-view mirror
And see ten of my closest friends.

2010-06-28T05:47:00.001-07:00

I’m ready to go home. I’m ready to live without ten other people. I’m ready to do things when I want to do them. I’m ready to drive in my car alone, without needing two more people to go and without having to log every detail of our trip. I’m ready to wear my own clothes and to work out when I want, not when PT is scheduled. I’m ready to untuck my shirt. I’m ready to see the people I miss and not have to tell you I’m with them. I’m ready to blend into a crowd again.

I’m ready to leave the first half of this project and to start working at the US National Special Olympic Games… and then I’m ready to go home.

2010-06-21T16:33:00.001-07:00

Who's dishes are these? Who's bedding is this? Who's shoes are these? Who's trash is this? Who's got two thumbs and is NOT your mother? This girl.

A collection of New Orleans photos…

2010-06-19T14:07:00.001-07:00

Day trip to the Gulf…

Matt, Brad and I on the Riverwalk…

At my house!…

My text to Britt, when she didn’t know where the 1/4 line was…

My shim shark…

At City Park…

Our room at the Tree House…

Tour day with the volunteers, they always feed you…

At Amy’s project house with the Canadians…

My house again! with Dan and Amy…

Dan doesn’t like it when you use the tape measure with the fractions…

Our decoration for the Tree House (Olive Tree), by Amy…

St. Patrick’s with Oak 5…

City Park sculpture garden…

Driving with my Britt Brat…

With the Seattle volunteers at City Park…

More Gulf photos…

A ‘Thank You’ Brownie… and Doug…

Our last hangout in front of the Project Homecoming Office…

Our last walk to the office…

Matt came to visit for lunch a lot…

Faith practicing her “sweet new skills”…

Lunch time!…

Audubon Park…

Britt got tatted up… A Native American Water Bird…

My last day at my house…

Dan!…

Faith’s house was finished, she helped at ours a lot…

We’re being rappers…

My homeowner…

2010-06-19T14:01:00.003-07:00

One of my favorite things to do in the van is to sit in the back seat, blast my iPod into my headphones, and let the team make their own music video for me. It always makes me happy to see everyone doing their own thing. Some people are talking, some are sleeping, some reading, some just watching things pass us as we drive.

2010-06-19T14:01:00.001-07:00

First of all, please congratulate me on completing my 80 independent service hours, that’s 80 extra volunteer hours I’ve completed on my weekends or after work. *bows*

Our most recent ISPs (Independent Service Projects) have been; 1) Working at the Children’s Museum of Lincoln and 2) Staging at the Special Olympics: Nebraska State Games.

I’ll start with “1)”
The Children’s Museum was nothing like the boring picture I had conjured up in my mind. It was child heaven; or maybe inner-child heaven, so us non-children don’t get left out. Three levels of an ultimate playground. A shadow room, prairie dog hill with tunnels, tree house; stage equip with costumes, sound board, and a TV to watch yourself perform; circus mirrors, huge chairs to make your parents seem small, hot air balloon, tractor trailer, speed boat, water jugs to hit and play songs on, post office, grocery store, construction area, fire truck, football field, volleyball court, press box and radio station, pizza shop, spaceship, moon car, puddle jumper, biplane; I’m sorry I could go on all day- you get the idea.

Well, our ISP was held on Superhero Day and seeing that every superhero you could ever want to meet was there (from Police Officers to Firefighters to Batman to Spiderman to Ironman to Tinkerbell to Luke and Leah with R2D2 to Darth Vader and his Storm Troopers) most of us were recruited to be their body guards. You wouldn’t think this would be a difficult task right? We were so wrong. Apparently the Star Wars characters don’t get along with (minus the police officers and firefighters) the other superheroes (a family that does this for a living) and last year they actually got in a fight right there in the museum. That’s intense hatred; if you’re willing to fight at the place employing you, in front of googly eyed, crazy about you children. So the entire time the team was not only doing crowd control with the children and parents but also trying to keep everyone on separate levels. At one point one of the storm troopers actually started walking down the steps, arms raised, shooting his guns into the air, trying to fight Spiderman. I also hear Batman and Spiderman were fighting the entire time, arguing over who was the better hero. Cue rolling eyes. Harry had the difficult job of keeping the mothers from groping Ironman, thank you Robert Downey, Jr.; this Ironman was 16 and freaked, to say the least. Jess, Faith, and I got lucky with the arts and crafts table. It was a slow day, business wasn’t exactly booming. What kid would want to color when they could play in a spaceship next to Darth Vader while Luke walked around with an exact replica of R2D2? I got a few interesting conversations out of the small amount of tikes that did pass through our station, but the day went fairly slow for us- except when we got to play in wonderland ourselves.

Our ISP with the Special Olympics left us exhausted, but beaming. I was reminded of Sherman Lake, when my face was sore from smiling. None of us had worked with the games before yesterday; we had no idea what to expect. We ended up staging for track and field; that’s lining up the athletes-and making sure they stay in line-so they’ll be ready for their race. I’m not sure that any other job would have been as much fun. We were under a tent with chairs, every row was a heat and every chair a lane; once a heat was ready to go we’d lead them to the track and cheer them on. There was a lot of waiting to start for the athletes so we had a lot of time to make friends. All you really needed was a second though; just one second and you’ve made an entire heat of friends who all somehow know your name.

I began this blog with the intention of sharing the details of my day, but now I don’t feel comfortable describing my experience through typing, as I feel it will somehow diminish the story and ultimately the happiness of my memory. I will only tell you that I’m not sure there are many experiences in my life that leave me feeling supremely happy and completely fulfilled; and I don’t think there are any strangers in my life that have become my friends so quickly and briefly and changed my mood so dramatically. So I suppose I will just leave you with the push to ask you to volunteer at the next Special Olympic event in your state.

2010-05-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

Safety experts say that if you were born on a plane and flew continuously all your life, you'd live to be well past 100 before you eventually crashed.

2010-05-05T15:24:00.001-07:00

An Army Man, is visiting his family
They’re in the yard, across the alley
He’s loud
I like that
He’s happy
I watch him playing football with someone
A young boy
A son?
A Nephew?
He’s pretending to be the announcer
”He runs to the end zone aaaaand… He’s got it! Touchdown!”
”He runs to the end zone aaaaand… NO! They’re gonna fire his ass.”
A girl rides her small motorized car in circles
She flies off a small ramp, made of OSB and a piece of wood
A woman yells from the back door if they want dessert
Of course they do
Just as quickly as I notice them, they’re gone
And just as quickly, dusk becomes night
It’s dark
It’s quiet
Except for neighbors I can’t see
And the laughter from downstairs

2010-05-05T15:22:00.001-07:00

I got to hang out with some tikes today
We were working in the yard of a Habitat family
The mother came out to say hello,
With her tiny two year old daughter, Ashol
Her and Mom are dressed up real fancy
And I ask her where she’s going
She answers me in her mumbling two year old language
And her mom tells me
They’re going to something at Brother’s school tonight
Mom has an accent
They’re from Sudan
I think she’s pretty
I like her smile
I like her even more when she brings us water and “pop”
A short while later, the five year old brother, Anai, joins us
While Ashol decides to run away,
And laugh as her mother chases her down the sidewalk;
Anai stands around with a curious gleem in his eyes,
He obviously wants to help
We’re shoveling dirt into a wheelbarrow,
To fill in holes around the yard
We ask him if he’d like to join us
And he informs us that he will be back,
With some gloves from the bathroom
He walks out a minute later, wearing purple latex gloves
Most likely used to clean the toilet
They’re too big on him
It’s cute
As we shovel, he grabs small handfuls
And drops what is left of the dirt into the wheelbarrow;
Most of it falls through his fingers to the ground
Brittany, and I begin filling holes
Anai is excited to be helping
And doesn’t listen to what we were doing;
So he continues scooping dirt from the ground
To try and fill the wheelbarrow some more
His hands are too small to undo any of our work
So Brit and I just share an ‘aw, ain’t he cute?’ look
I find a worm in the pile and pick it up for him
He holds it a second,
But when I ask him if he wants to put it in the lawn
He tells me he’s scared
So we ask Brittany to place the worm nicely in it’s new home
I pretend to be the worm and thank Brit and Anai for helping me
Anai laughs a ‘silly adults can’t fool me’ laugh
We tell him he’s a great gardener
Anai smiles
I think he knows this already;
I think he knows kids are great at everything
His mother looks out the window
And tells him to let us work;
To come back inside
I’m sad, but I don’t want to tell her he’s fine helping us
He’s sad too
He hangs his head and keeps picking up dirt
I want to laugh at his attempts to ignore her
She laughs; and says he’s stubborn
He eventually begins to waddle inside
And we give him a couple hi-fives to cheer him up
We thank him
Mom reminds him to say you’re welcome
We remind him that he’s a great gardener

2010-05-05T15:20:00.001-07:00

I found this in my phone, under ‘Saved Drafts’. I wrote it one morning, in New Orleans; while we were waiting outside the office, for our day to begin…

I love this moment
Just as it is
The morning sun is out
A breeze carries the excitement of Spring
An older man, a homeowner,
Asks for some coffee
A Frisbee flies by
People stand in a circle
I can’t hear them
But I see them laughing
I imagine they throw their heads back
From the weight of their smiles
I can feel the bass from a car shake the metal I sit on
I sit high on these steps
For the view

2010-05-02T11:25:00.003-07:00

It has recently come to my attention that my voicemail inbox is full; so after deciding to clean it out I had some fun listening to some of my old and saved messages:

1 Cary: “Your mom said I could take you to the dance tonight. But I have a Poptart!”

2 Bill: “Uh ello Casey, this is Beezer’s Spanish water polo teammate; and I just wanted to say I met this girl and she was uh, how to do you say, a track?”

3 Cary: “Uh Casey yeah this is Les, you were supposed to close tonight, but uh we’re just wondering where you are; but uh if you could just give us a call back when you get this, aright.”

4 Bobby: “So I just got this message you left me on Pom-Pom’s cell phone telling me to go pick up sticks…having to put up with you is having to put up with garbage.”

5 Chae: “Hey guess what, I was at work today and I watched this lady put Fixodent on her dentures, like she was buttering toast!”

6 Freshman Steve: “Hi Casey, its Freshman Steve.”
Cary: “That’s Freshman Steve saying, “Hi Casey”. Just wondering if you’re coming over this weekend, cause its College Park and College Park is awesome; AHHH!”

7 Paul: “What’s up Kill, it’s Paul. Haven’t talked to you in a while… You still have to play Scrabble, no excuse!”

8 (heavy breathing)

9 Dad: “Hi Sweetie, it’s Dad. Just uh on my way home from work, just calling to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I love you and miss you. Bye.”

10 Dad: “Hi Casey, that Janice is a good secretary; she’s been with you for a long time. I like her voice. Uh just calling to say hi, Sweetie. Mommy read the text message to me the other day that you were uh being a little baby missing your girls from camp. That’s sweet, that sound like you really kind of bonded with them and uh really got close to them that’s wonderful you’re making such wonderful memories, Casey, and meeting people; I’m just uh real excited for you and uh a little sad cause I don’t get to see you, but uh I love you and if you get a chance uh you can give me a call. Bye, Sweetie… Bye.

11 Amy: “Hello Casey Incorporated, this is Amy Limited; I’m um calling because breakfast is not only a lovely wonderful breakfast, but also a debrief so we have to be here. Um if you could wake everyone up, that would be awesome.”

12 Alex (robot voice): “Hello. Casey. This. Is. Alex. Barone. I’m. Just. Calling. To. Say. I. Love. You. And. I’ll. Talk. To. You. Later. Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye… Okay bye… Bye.”

13 Unknown Female: “Hi Casey, I love you! It’s--- I love you, call me back tonight! I love you, happy New Year! I love you! Bye!”

14 Cary: “First off, I would like to let you know that it takes 56 seconds before you can leave a voicemail on your phone; second of all, I… I saw this on TV and I don’t know if you’ll be able to hear it, but I thought I should play it for you because it would make you happy… ‘Goodnight everybody!’, I don’t know if you could hear that; but if you did, you are laughing right now. Okay, I guess I’ll talk to you later, bye.”

15 Andrew: “Yo yo yo, this is Andrew; East Side Baltimore County! Yo, I’m a rapster doin’ what I can. Goin’ to eat everything ‘til the appearance of man. Yo yo, Baby livin’ below the soil; I’ll be back, but I’m comin’ as oil. Yeah…”

2010-05-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

So here I am, Saturday, May 1st, in Des Moines, Iowa; looking out my window into my new neighborhood for the next ten days. We’re supposed to be setting up for the National Special Olympics that are being held in Lincoln, Nebraska this year; but our housing fell through. I guess that’s why they warn you that being flexible in NCCC is too rigid; you have to be fluid. We just finished our second full day of working with Des Moines’ Habitat. We’re living in a rehabbed drug house. We haven’t had the opportunity to live in a house yet; I think I can speak for everyone when I say, I LOVE IT. We’re a real family now. The only downside is one shower for 11 people. I think my favorite part of being here, so far, is feeling like a family and being in a neighborhood again. Britt Brat and I have our own room, we sit in the kitchen and talk/laugh about our families and how similar they are late into the night, Jess and I sit on the porch and sing as she plays her ukulele, James is always playing around on the Xbox in the living room, Someone is normally messing around on the guitar in the living room too, Jess and I lay on my bed and look out the window to watch the neighbors and listen to the sounds and the different radio stations everyone plays outside; I like watching the kids play soccer.

I made it back to Iowa with little crying during our two day drive from New Orleans. Our last project couldn’t have gone better, minus getting sick for the last week of work; not everyone agrees with me though. Considering the team was split up this round, working on different houses, doing different jobs, working with different people; some of Oak 5’s experiences were less than perfect. I guess I got lucky.

The past seven weeks have been full of; dancing to bad [beautiful] rap music (“asbestos!”), fried shrimp po-boys (“dressed”), “How ya’ll doin?”s, parades, festivals, friends from home, volunteers, volunteers, volunteers, roaches, hard mattresses made at the local jail, warm weather, Magazine Street hipsters, Ghetto Burgers, meeting Spirit at Starbucks, measuring tapes and shamefully learning how to read them, city park picnics every Saturday, crawfish, alligators, humidity, homeowners, bicycles, hospitality, the Tree House, frisbee every morning outside the office, 90s dance parties every night, the Mississippi River, New Orleans music, local artists showing their paintings in the Quarter, corn on the cob from the French Market, “Who Dat!!”s, embarrassing tan lines, a day trip to the beach, a goodbye visit, spaghetti dinners with homeowners every Thursday, Singing homeowners, flood stories, tears, reflections, the Lower Ninth, Brad Pitt for mayor, broken levees, corrupt governments, lives lost marked on porches with a simple number, axes and attics, hope, hugs, faith, thanks, God, friends, family.

I’d like to write about every detail that made up this past round, but I’m not sure I remember it all; and I fear you wouldn’t understand, but if I had to choose one thing to blame my love for this project on, it would be my construction assistant, Dan. Thanks for entertaining me, Buddy. “You da bestest; somethin’ somethin’, asbestos!”

2010-03-29T19:39:00.001-07:00

2010-03-28T07:30:00.001-07:00

Okay I admit it, I was extremely bitter when the speaker on the erosion of Louisiana’s coast told her audience of volunteers that “Marylanders always brag about their crabs, but the majority of crabs in Maryland are shipped in from Louisiana, and they’re bigger”; bitter enough to not stay for the rest of her presentation- maybe I kind of regret that, seeing as coastal erosion is a serious problem; since the 1930’s Louisiana has lost more than a million acres of their coastline, the equivalent of a football field every half hour. Back to my bitterness though; after some research, I have a defense for Maryland…

“Maryland produces the more expensive, higher quality blue crab. Maryland's colder waters and estuaries produce a blue crab high in flavorful fat. Carolina blue crabs are considered second to Maryland while Louisiana provides options for price sensitive customers who like a larger crab.”

Thank you, that is all.

2010-03-24T19:55:00.001-07:00

Round Three’s two day road trip to New Orleans, LA in one word: Cozy…

We stopped in St. Louis for gas and a chance to stretch…

Our new paradise; City Park.
I took this when we first got to New Orleans…
We had some time to kill before we could get into our housing, so we walked around the park. It was so hot compared to Iowa… and there were so many more people. I had to get used to people again, I just kept staring.

Here’s our first home; Faith Presbyterian…
We were here for two weeks; now we’re at Olive Tree, also known as the Volunteer Village, staying with the volunteers we oversee at our projects. (I’ll explain that later…)

St. Paddy’s Day Parade…
So many beads, so many drunk old men and frat guys wanting to trade kisses for flowers.


We did an ISP (Independent Service Project) at City Park one weekend. We mulched a path, cleared trash from the water, painted picnic tables, weed wacked and moved flower pots. Jess made a friend…

After our work was done, Jim Morrison, the man that works at City Park; told us to go find the huge alligator that had been sunning himself lately off one of the trails. He wasn’t there that day, but we sat by the water for a while anyway…

I got to work with Brit Brit for a week; her assistant was on vacation, skiing. My project assistant is Dan… Here’s how it works: Each of the people from my team get their own project assistant, picked just for them, and their own house to work on. We also get a new group of volunteers every week that we oversee. My house is in Holly Grove, where Lil Wayne is from apparently? So anyways, Brit got to hang out with us for a week, we painted, laid Hardie Board, laid tile, marked and cut openings for attic vents, lots of crazy jobs that can’t be described in a cohesive manner and, of course, had an awesome time. I miss working with her now that her assistant is back.

As I helped Dan under the house, Brit graciously took flattering photos of us… Thanks.

Almost every week we take our group of volunteers on a tour of the Lower Ninth Levee, the Lower Ninth, and Musician’s Village. That’s an entire blog in and of itself…

I had to take a picture of the dead frog in our site’s Porta-Pot this week… We’re working with Amy, while her assistant does some estimates for new rebuilds.

I decided that it’s time to switch my watch to the other wrist this week. It’s nice to see the visible change, but I don’t know how I’ll feel about it when I go out on the weekend…

Most weekends we go to City Park and spend the entire day there…

Jess plays her ukulele in the Live Oaks (with Spanish Moss)…


I try to…

One day we visited the French Quarter; that was just once, a lot of it’s too commercial, no fun. Jess and I sat by the Mississippi River though…

Here’s Dan and I nailing up some OSB with our Canadian volunteers yesterday. Amy took this one, we had to get a shot of us at 2:05 for her next newsletter article…

Here’s James’ 2:05 shot… (He works in the office with Vann). Don’t let him fool you, he loves it.

We’ve been doing PT (Physical Training) in the park down the street. I love it! It’s a local park, so everyone knows everyone. There’s a group of old and young men that set up a table and play cards and the playground is always full of kids and their moms, and there’s a group of Hispanic guys that play soccer every day; Brad, James, and Emily played with them today. I ran around the track. While I was stretching, I found this… I’ve been searching for 21 years (well, I guess not exactly 21 years, but ever since I knew what four leaf clovers were) and I finally found one…

I love it here in New Orleans, LA!

2010-03-22T20:17:00.001-07:00

Maybe you’ve noticed, from the mismatched dates,
that I’m finally posting some saved drafts…
Hopefully I can keep up with this.

2010-03-22T19:03:00.001-07:00

It’s February 27, 2010
Yesterday was the last day of round two
It’s definitely been an adventure

We (Oak 5) stayed with Cedar 5 on campus this round
C5 worked with Weed and Seed, while
We worked with Block By Block-
   An organization in Cedar Rapids, Iowa
   that works to rebuild entire blocks,
   destroyed by the 2008 flood

It was hard to adjust to manual labor after working at Sherman Lake
And it was harder to adjust to such a different atmosphere
I’ve learned a lot through the tough moments during this project
I say tough moments, but they’ve been more like tough weeks
   tough first 75% of the project even… maybe

I’d like to write about my negative experiences during this project,
   but I’m far too exhausted to think about them anymore
   It’s time to just cut them loose
I will say that we lost Nikki though
She quit, the last week of our project
It was unexpected, but expected at the same time
She officially left AmeriCorps yesterday,
   it was strange to hug her goodbye

We have a new TL now
Mercedes
I love having her
She’s organized, prepared, professional, collected, calm, funny…
There is hope for Oak 5 after all

Back to Block By Block…
I spent the first half of this project hating it
All I could think about was our first spike
I’d cry at random times throughout the day
If someone mentioned anything remotely similar to something at camp
   I’d tear up
During our first day of orientation, our sponsor mentioned
   that if we walk anywhere to please go in 3’s
   …a truddy
   oh great, now I’m crying at orientation
Problems with the team didn’t help my mood either
BUT, I was saved
   by amazing sponsors
   Melissa, Shelby, and Bob/RoBERT(a)
It’s incredibly sad to be leaving them
They’ve become our friends
They make me look forward to work
   I looked forward to laughing with them
   Making them laugh
   I’ll miss riding in their cars all over town to different houses,
      singing horribly with them
   Calling them all the time, asking ridiculously stupid questions
      They’re far too patient
   Going out with them on the weekends to Mickey’s or cosmic bowling
   Seeing Bert wear a fanny pack
   Unloading Thomas the box truck
   Sewing curtains in Marion with Melissa
   Laying in the La-Z-Boys in the Marion office
   Squeezing 13 people into one table for lunch

I’ll also miss the people of Cedar Rapids
I’ll miss walking to the gas station
And talking to the most random people
About the most ridiculous things
   Like the man
   Who’s brother-in-law’s grandmother hid $10,000 in her house
   And when she died the family ripped the house apart
   And still didn’t find it
Or Paulette who worked at Casey’s
   And always seemed to be mopping
   When we’d track our nasty boots through to the bathroom… sorry
Or just the random people who would stop us and thank us for helping
   Thank us for lifting their spirits
Most of all, I’ll miss John Verba
   His house was the first that we’d worked on
   And on our last day he came to see us off
I loved working at John’s house
He was the only home owner we were able to meet,
   Since most everyone had sold their house and moved away
He’d stop by some days to see how things were
He’s a cute old man
   The silly kind
He always wore a baseball helmet
   And told stories about everything
He was born in the house
   His mom didn’t want him,
   She was in her forties and had already had a son before John,
   But the baby had been dropped and died
   John said he always felt like a replacement
      I think that’s so sad
When he talked to you, he’d add things at the end
   Like, “But shhh, don’t tell them that”
   As if he was telling you some secret information,
   When all he really said was something about the flooring
I helped clean out a trailer in the back yard one day
   We were moving all his stuff into the basement
   He told a story about every little thing in there
My favorite was about a bow he picked up
   He said he had gone out and killed 17 frogs when he first got it,
   But when he got back home he felt so bad
   Cause those frogs didn’t deserve it,
   So he never used that bow and arrow to kill anything again
He told me about the time he hit a homerun
   in elementary school one day
   A girl was pitching, he said that’s why he was able to hit it
   It was this girl he was in love with
   He wanted to marry her
He told us this other girl he liked, once told him he had cute legs
John’s never been married, I wonder how he feels about that
He’s very smart
   He tried to tell me about some sort of waves one day
   Like waves from the furnace in the basement
   And how they try to level them out when it’s cooling down
   So something doesn’t happen
   He did a great job of explaining it, but I was still confused
He said he used to love making model planes
   And his mom would let him keep them out on the window seat
   To show them off, but he’s never been in a plane-
   Too scared of heights-
   He said, probably because when he was younger his sister
   threatened to throw him in the river
   or maybe because when he was three, two neighborhood girls
   forced him to climb a tall ladder to the top of the barn

It’s nice to think of the homes we work on
   as homes people have actually lived in
It’s hard to see that when they’re falling apart
I found a time capsule while we were gutting a house one day
It has an old photo in it, from the early 1900s most likely
It’s a young boy, middle school aged
I wonder who he was…
   I wonder who he imagined would find his time capsule

2010-02-19T18:19:00.001-08:00

I’m starting to think, that maybe Maryland has nothing left to offer me

Do you ever feel that way?
It’s that feeling where you know you’re in love with something,
but it’s just not right, it’s off kilter, there’s an emptiness almost

I think there’s too much negativity associated
with certain things back home

I need a fresh start

I need to begin somewhere else

2010-02-19T18:17:00.003-08:00

It seems that life is full of decisions. Decisions that affect your future. How are we supposed to deal with them calmly? How are we not going to have doubts? Why do we have to choose right away? Having no time to experience the world around us, we’re thrown into it expected to have every detail planned out. Why do we have to surrender so quickly? Who’s idea was this? It’s no wonder so many people hate waking up for work. What ever happened to chasing dreams? Thinking for ourselves? What happened to creativity? Imagination? It seems we’ve lost what’s important, for wealth and stability. Whatever happened to being fearless? No one said chasing your dreams would be safe but isn’t it so much better to take that chance?

2010-02-19T18:17:00.001-08:00

Be yourself-
That's all you can do
Try any more or less and it's no longer you

2010-02-19T18:16:00.001-08:00

What makes people so blind when they’re in love? Is there any rational explanation? What makes people so scared? So defensive? So anxious? So oblivious? How can someone only see the good in someone they love, when everyone around them can see so much more of the bad? What makes love bring so much denial? What makes love bring out both good and evil? What makes love tear apart friendships? What makes people so defensive when their closest friends suggest that maybe, just maybe, the person they love isn’t who they really thought they were. What is love? Why does love bring together some of the most unexpected people? Why does love hurt so much? How can something as perfect as love, kill? And why do we put up with all of it? How can we feel love’s pain over and over and still come back for more, knowing deep down that love doesn’t come without pain?

2010-02-19T18:15:00.001-08:00

It’s January 6, 2010;
I’ve returned from my two week break in Baltimore, Maryland and
I’m back in Vinton, Iowa
Our first project flew by without a chance to record any of it
Do I regret not finding the time? Absolutely

Our next project will be mucking, gutting, and finishing construction
on houses affected by a flood, an hour away, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa
We’ll be staying here at the Iowa Braille School with one other team
Am I excited about this? No
Why? My first project has ruined my life

Randomly, throughout the day I find myself fighting back tears
I miss Sherman Lake
   See, I have to pause right here because my eyes start to flood
I’ll zone out during a meeting and my mind will drift toward thoughts
   of camp; or I’ll hear a team talk about their next project at Sherman
   Lake and I have to stop to collect myself, to breath, to convince
   myself that I’ll love this next project just as much
But I don’t think I’m really convincing;
   I’m just lying
I’ll never be able to relay the feeling I have when thinking about my first
   project and I’ll never be able to make you see or understand how
   amazing it was or how empty leaving Michigan felt; but I’ll try to, at
   least, write for you every little insignificant thing that makes
   Augusta, Michigan so significant to me
Where to begin?…

Have your cheeks ever hurting from smiling so much?
H[onesty] C[aring] R[espect] R[esponsibility]
Sherman Lake Idol
The Underground Railroad
   “Are you a friend of a friend”
   Hiding in sticker bushes so we wouldn't get caught
Trips to Metro; the saloon slash diner slash gay bar in Kalamazoo
   Dancing to country music one second and to club music the next
Talking to an old woman at an art show for an hour
   about her stained glass
Playing never ending dodge ball
Building campfires and roasting marshmallows
Listening to “Grandpa” Paul’s campfire stories
W[ords] O[f] W[isdom] Time
Standing on the deck, overlooking the lake
Living in the pods
Looking out the pod windows to see the village of cabins
Always hearing the laughter of children and seeing them run around
The feeling of being needed
Belaying campers up the climbing wall and encouraging them
   Where’s your goal?…
   On belay? Belay is on. Climbing? Climb on…
   Dirt me!
Figuring out the tough campers
”One hopper up”
Squaring away
”A cough drop always stops a coffin”
Heather AKA ‘H’
The Laundromat
”Are you having fun at camp?”
Playing Zap and Gaga
Tie-dye
Skits
Counselor imitations
Living in the woods
Going to the YMCA for free; and being able to walk there
Encouraging
Most happy I’ve ever been
Positive atmosphere
Long trek to the man village
AmeriCorps Alum from Maryland
   (Josh and Mike)
Erik’s stache
Sean’s reaction when he had to get on the bus
   He stood in front of me and stared for a while
   I knew he was about to cry, and I was on the verge
   All a sudden he starts balling and hugging me, so of course I do too
   Brit and I told him how much we loved him
   We wanted him to know he wasn’t a bad kid
      I miss him
I miss Makayla; the leader
   Always willing to do the dirty work
   Everyone did what she said
   If someone was talking when they shouldn’t
   And she told them to stop, no questions asked
   They’d stop
   Everyone listened to her, but loved her too
The perfect scenes from a Christmas card once it snowed
What you’d imagine Narnia looking like
Paul and his beard would be Aslan
Watching “Nudey Girls” every weekend
Playing Will it Float?
   “Thank you… I’m making my ship out of cement, and it will float”
High ropes course
New orange boots
Soup kitchen ISP
   Cops being called due to a fight about eating order
Cam’s hilarity
   Twilight movie reviews
   “Fuck curbs”
   Sherman Lake Idol judge
Working with the Olivet students
   Drama with Andrew and his… dancing
The campers breaking out into song on our very last day
   All 100’some of them crowding around the piano
   Singing: ‘Don’t Stop Believing’
      There isn’t a better way to end a perfect project.

2010-02-19T18:08:00.001-08:00

I want you to know that

I love this place

2010-02-19T18:06:00.001-08:00

I realize I haven’t written anything in a while
I guess I just kind of left you hanging
I leave for Iowa and suddenly disappear
My apologies…

October 14, 2009 was my first adventure on a commercial flight
   adventure seemed like the right word
I met a fellow Marylander at the airport and off we travelled to Chicago

Our connecting plane in Chicago was so small
   we had to walk out onto the windy runway to board
      Obviously, not a lot of people travel to Cedar Rapids, Iowa
The flight consisted mostly of 20 somethings
We all knew what we were there for
   but no one was brave enough to address the group
I got the aisle/window seat
Iowa was a flat, field view

Everyone was staring, once we landed in Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Someone that worked at the airport expressed their confusion
   as to why the flight was so full
      and as to why it was so full of young people

After a loud NCCC staff greeting we were piled into vans
It was a quiet ride

Once we reached the Iowa Braille School we were sent through an
Assembly line of papers and room keys and signing of documents
The thought repeating was,
   “What have I gotten myself into?”
Nervous, we scan the “cafeteria” for dinner
   high school flashbacks ensue
We rush to get uniforms fitted
And sprint to make the first community meeting on time

It doesn’t take most of us long to make friends
The first night was too lonely and/or full of tears to repeat

We’re in our unofficial groups now
Going to meetings and learning the town
It’s a new routine, an early routine;
   but I like it

Sometime after all this we have to say goodbye to our groups
   and hello to our teams
It’s been a week, but it feels like I’m letting go of family
No one really takes well to their new “family”

More training
More early mornings
More Physical Training at 5:30am
More falling asleep in training

Besides official government things
We learn about the AmeriLanguage
Because…
”Ameri” can go before any word
AmeriWord, see I just did it right there
AmeriLove
AmeriCrush
AmeriBaby
AmeriCats
AmeriGoggles
Ameri… well, anything
   you understand

I feel as though I need to tell you about AmeriGoggles
You’ve heard of Beer Goggles, yes?
Well AmeriGoggles are when you start thinking people,
   you once thought of as unattractive, are… attractive
See, being stuck in an AmeriBubble
Where you see the same people all day long
Can make you a little crazy
The Goggles are real, people!
   I’ve seen them take down many a corps member

We have a few small projects we work on
Like:
Neighborhood clean-ups
Removing invasive plant species
Controlled burns
Building picnic tables
Gutting houses affected by a flood
Winterizing parks
Cutting down trees and turning them to mulch
And so on and so forth

The night life in Vinton consists of one thing
Bar hopping
   bar hopping the three bars available
Mickey’s
   has karaoke every first and third Wednesday and Saturday
Ron-Da-Voo
And Golf Right
Which used to have some simulated golfing game
   but it doesn’t work anymore
      and it costs too much to change the name of the bar

It’s nice to just ride a bike around town during the day though
I feel like it’s one of those cutesy, family, movie neighborhoods

Everything closes early
   or closes in the middle of prime shopping hours, just because
And nothing’s open on Sundays
Except for the Chinese restaurant in town
   which does actually have Asians
   which I find so surprising
      seeing as Vinton is, I swear, at least 90% Arian
         which I find creepy

The people, for the most part, are beyond friendly
I feel like a celebrity when I walk around town
They just stop whatever they’re doing and stare
Vinton doesn’t have 18-24 year olds
   because they leave the second they’re old enough
So everyone knows you’re part of AmeriCorps if you’re young
   it’s also a town of 5,000 so I guess they just know if you’re new

It’s 10:00, my bedtime
I’m living in a cabin in Augusta, Michigan now
Second week of working for the Sherman Lake YMCA starts tomorrow
Don’t worry, I’ll continue where I left off
   I have a month’s worth of memories to recover and record

2009-09-24T10:18:00.001-07:00

more than a year
still can’t shake the feeling

2009-09-17T20:07:00.001-07:00

I’m waiting for something.
I can feel it.

2009-09-10T20:50:00.001-07:00

When I was young, my dad made a video full of random moments he had recorded of my mom and me. This song was included; and never fails to make me cry.

2009-09-08T17:43:00.001-07:00

She doesn’t know what she’s doing. Every aspect of her life seems to be locked away in it’s own separate box. She can’t find the keys, but every once in a while she’ll look through the hole and see an outline of something familiar. It’s dark, she can never figure out what it is. Sometime’s it feels right, when she’s looking in. Sometimes it feels wrong, or maybe just different. Different sounds kind of nice.

In her mind, she’s got nothing to call her own; except her mind. She’ll drive for hours, just her and her thoughts. Trying to sort things out, but mostly just staring out the window. It’s hard to organize when there’s so much clutter. If this was real she could bag it up and drop it at the back door of Goodwill.

Her ears never stop listening, her eyes watching. When she stops, problems nag to be dealt with. She doesn’t have the motivation. She’s frustrated. Her frustration causes her to snap. Now she feels guilty, sorry. She wishes she could tell you, explain to you, make you understand why, tell you she’ll make it up. Instead she says nothing and you figure she’s just cold and just can’t be bothered with you. You figure she just doesn’t love you. A lot of people figure that.

2009-09-08T07:17:00.001-07:00

Sometime last week, I was surfing through iTunes and fell in love with a few Podcasts, two in particular.

The first, The Moth Podcast, “features people telling true, engaging, funny, touching and eye-opening stories from their lives”.
The second, entitled, NPR: Radio Diaries Podcast, describes itself as, “historical documentaries weaving together home recordings, archival news audio, and first person accounts to bring the past to life. Extraordinary stories from ordinary places”.

I advise you to type them both into your iTunes’ search bar and start listening from the beginning.

2009-09-07T15:51:00.001-07:00

2009-08-22T20:00:00.001-07:00

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
-Anais Nin

Alexi Murdoch; ‘All My Days’

2009-08-21T19:17:00.001-07:00

2009-08-21T18:12:00.001-07:00

This doesn’t feel like Casey
             And I’m not sure how long it’s been
                                                        Since I lost Her

2009-08-03T15:21:00.001-07:00

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;
There is a rapture on the lonely shore;
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more...
- Lord Byron

2009-07-29T22:20:00.001-07:00

I realize this post won’t mean to you what it does to me
I’m writing this for myself, I guess

’Snowflakes Are Dancing’ was a 1974 album
By Isao Tomita
Consisting entirely of Claude Debussy’s “tone paintings”
Performed on a Moog synthesizer

As a child my parents and I would turn out the lights at night
Play Tomita and hide under a blanket
While we’d kick our feet to create sparks

I remember thinking it was as if
We were flying through space
The stars shooting by at warp speed

This is my favorite song from the album

I miss it terribly

2009-07-28T19:52:00.001-07:00

"...But what I hope most of all, is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that,
even though I do not know you,
and even though I may never meet you,
laugh with you, cry with you,
or kiss you, I love you.
With all my heart,
I love you."

2009-07-19T21:32:00.001-07:00

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

Unknown Monk, A.D. 1100

2009-07-15T23:02:00.001-07:00

"I will speak ill of no man,
and speak all the good I know
of everybody."
- Benjamin Franklin

2009-07-15T11:52:00.001-07:00